Enhance Your Lifestyle With NLP+© Series: Part 20

By: Shantanu Das Sharma, Sr. Associate Editor-ICN Group

Quick recap of what we have covered in Part 19

Why to Model Successful People’s Physiology of Excellence

The Three Speakers I Modeled Myself After… Until I Became Them

Modeling Other’s Excellence in Decision-Making and Rapport Building

Consciously Model Patterns of Excellence Rather than Patterns of Mediocrity

Exercise 5 – Think!  Who Can You Model?

HOW YOU DIRECT YOUR BRAIN FOR OPTIMUM RESULTS

By now you know that the ‘state’ in which you are in at any moment in time is determined by your physiology, and your internal representation. You have also been taken through a slew of strategies, each one designed to manage your physiology in order to optimize your ‘state’. Now we will focus on the other half of the equation, i.e. on how you can take charge of your internal representation.

Please remember that our internal representation is the way in which we represent what is going on around us. It is a fancy term meaning what we think about and how we think about our ‘environment’. All of us represent our external experiences very differently. This is why two people may encounter the same experience, like a tough challenge, but perceive it very differently in their respective minds. One person may represent it in a way that makes him feel totally challenged and empowered. The other person may represent it in a way that completely demoralizes him. When we learn exactly how we represent things in our mind, we can then start to direct it in a way that puts us in the most resourceful and empowering states.

Recall that we represent our thoughts constantly through pictures (visual), sounds (auditory) and feelings (kinesthetic), all of which we generate internally in our minds. We also tend to talk to ourselves through an internal voice (auditory digital). There are two major elements that we must learn to direct, WHAT we focus on and HOW we focus on it.

Our State Is Affected By What We Focus On  

At any given second, there are two million bits of information bombarding us. While it is impossible to consciously be aware of everything, our mind tends to filter all this stimuli and focus on a few chunks of information at a time. Similarly, when we think of something in the past or something in the future, we tend to focus on certain aspects of the experience. And to us what we choose to focus on becomes most real in our minds.

Some people have a pattern of focusing on pictures, sounds and feelings that put them into unresourceful states while others generate pictures, sounds and feelings them put them into resourceful states. How about you? What do you do when you meet with failure? Some people keep playing mind pictures of themselves screwing up. Some people even play it like a bad movie, over and over again in their heads. They keep seeing themselves making the bad decisions, experiencing the consequences and they re-play all the negative voices around them. They may play the sound of their boss shouting at them. Then they run an internal dialogue that goes like this: ‘How could I have been so stupid!’ ‘Why do I always screw things up?’ or ‘Oh, sh…t! I’m dead.’

What kind of state do you think they will be generating? Not a very resourceful one, I bet! So, what kind of pictures and sounds should one play to produce a resourceful state? Well, this is what positive people do when they encounter failure. They choose to represent the failure as feedback that will lead them into finding a solution. Instead of re-playing scenes of the event or project that flopped, they focus on what they can learn from it, and how they will do it the next time… to get good results. They may even imagine themselves succeeding, using what they have learnt from the past experience, and their success would be accompanied by the sounds of people cheering or the boss congratulating them. They may play an internal dialogue that goes something like this: ‘I’ll make it the next time for sure’, ‘I’ll prove that I can turn things around’. Or they’ll say reflectively: ‘Now, what can I learn from this experience’. Obviously, such people will find themselves in more resourceful states.

Our minds are never still or idle, throughout our waking hours we play mental programs continuously. Now, start becoming aware of the kind of mental program you usually run when you are about to take on a challenging task. For example, just before making an important presentation or writing a difficult report, what goes on in your mind? Are you one of those who habitually focus on how difficult it is going to be? Do you see yourself being overwhelmed and stressed out? Do you mutter under your breath, ‘Oh no! How am I ever going to do this?’ ‘What if I screw up?’ ‘It’s just too difficult!’ You may even picture yourself screwing up or giving up. As a result you get into a state of nervous anxiety. But can you choose to represent the challenge very differently in your mind? Of course! You could choose to focus on how easy, fun and rewarding the challenge will be. Confident people will picture themselves dealing with the task or project effortlessly. They may even have an internal voice saying, ‘I am finally getting this done! This is so rewarding!’ ‘I knew I could do it.’

Now, given the same challenge, why do some people rise to it while others feel apprehension? The interesting fact is that most of us do not consciously decide what pictures, sounds and feelings we are going to generate in our mind. Our mind seems to be on auto-pilot and, within seconds of being faced with a challenge, it will subconsciously, create representations. And the kinds of representations created are dependent on past conditioning. Isn’t this scary? It appears that we do not have much control over our mind! This is why most people feel that their emotions control them. If you want to have mastery over your mind and emotions, then you must begin right away to control what you focus on!

Begin by paying full attention to the ‘program’ that is running in your brain-mind. If you find that what you are thinking of is not putting you in a resourceful state, then change it! In short, consciously change WHAT you focus on! You may keep slipping back, and each time you do, pull yourself up and re-focus. Of course, when you begin to consciously direct your mind, ensure that you do not have a lot of external distractions. Find a quiet corner; go for a walk by yourself. If you are sitting in the middle of the lounge while the television is on full blast and family members or friends are chattering away, you can’t even begin to think straight – much less direct your mind to focus on something specific.

Direct What You Focus On!

There are three major situations that all of us face every day. It is during these times that we must begin to control what we focus on. Again what we focus on means what we picture in our minds, what sounds we play, what we say to ourselves and what feelings we generate internally.

SITUATION #1

When you encounter something difficult that stands in your way of success.

For example, you get retrenched, your client cancels a contract, your best employee quits, or your product fails and you get a complaint.

What You Must Focus On…

 

  • Focus on solutions, what you can do to overcome it
  • Focus on possibilities or new opportunities

 

When you encounter challenges that get in your way of success, picture yourself using all the different strategies to overcome it. You can also picture yourself with new opportunities that come with the challenge. Some of the most empowering things you can say to yourself (internal dialogue) are…

‘How can I find a solution?’ or

‘How can I turn this around?’ or

‘How could I use this as an opportunity?’

Avoid Focusing On…

 

  • The problem or the difficulty it is causing you

 

Many people get stuck and paralyzed by problems because they keep picturing how difficult the problem is and how it is going to affect them. As the limiting pictures and sounds spin round and round in their head, they get more and more depressed and frustrated. They tend to say to themselves…

‘Why am I so unlucky?’

‘Why does this always happen to me?’

‘This is so unfair?’

‘Why must this happen?’

Remember that what we focus on determines what states we experience and ultimately what actions we take.

If Your Flight Gets Cancelled, Start an Airline

Have you heard of Virgin Atlantic? It took on the likes of airline giant British Airways and won. Today Virgin Atlantic Airlines is one of the most profitable airline companies in the world.

And do you know the airline only got started because its founder, Richard Branson, got stranded when he was on holiday and instead of kicking his heels in helpless frustration like all the other holiday makers, he lost no time in finding a solution that resulted in his creating a billion dollar new business. It all began when Richard and his wife were on Beef Island, one of the islands in the Virgin Islands (no, that’s not how the airline got its name). The couple were supposed to fly back to Puerto Rico but their flight was cancelled, leaving the Bransons and several hundred other holiday makers stranded. Instead of getting all frustrated and angry by focusing on the problem, Branson started picturing solutions and possibilities. He asked himself a very powerful question, ‘How can I find a solution, and even make money out of this? Aha! Charter a plane to fly himself and his wife and all the stranded passengers out. Branson lost no time in finding out that it would cost him just $2000 to charter a plane. Picture the mental images that must have raced through his head as he quickly divided the $2,000 price by the number of seats in the aircraft.

Next, he got hold of black board and wrote ‘Virgin Airways: $39 Single flight to Puerto Rico’. He walked around the airport and within minutes, he had sold all the seats on board. Not only did Branson find a way to get himself and his wife back to the capital city but he had found a way to get other people to pay for their trip! When they arrived at their destination, one passenger remarked, ‘Virgin Airways isn’t too bad – smarten up the service a little and you will be in business.’ It was in that moment that Virgin Atlantic Airlines was born… the rest is aviation history!

SITUATION #2

When you don’t achieve your outcome.

For example, failing to close a sale, missing a profit target, losing a competition, or not getting a promotion.

What You Must Focus On…

 

  • Focus on what you can learn from it
  • Focus on how you will be successful the next time

 

By doing this, you will continue to feel motivated and excited – and will keep taking action until you succeed!

Avoid Focusing On…

 

  • The experience of failure and how bad you feel about it
  • Internal dialogues like these are most unproductive ‘Oh no!’ ‘How can I let this happen?’ ‘Oh sh…t! I’m dead.’ ‘Why do I always fail?’

 

The danger in focusing on the negative is that you will get yourself into such a miserable and self-pitying state that you give up trying. The final major situation that you must learn to take control of is…

SITUATION #3

When you are faced with a challenging task or project.

For example, writing a difficult report, giving a speech, starting a company, going for an interview or selling a product. All of us face daunting tasks every day. It is when we tackle them head-on that we grow and start producing results. And as we take on each successive challenge successfully, we will start realizing our potential.

Again, how should you direct your mind to focus on such situations?

‘I can’t wait to do this! This is exciting!’

 

  • ‘How can I be effective?
  • ‘How can I have fun doing this?’

 

When you represent challenges to yourself in this way, you put yourself into the best state to accomplish it!

Avoid Focusing On…

 

  • How tough and painful it can be
  • How you may do something wrong or fail altogether

 

Many people, when faced with a challenge, will back away or procrastinate. These are some of the common things we say to ourselves that get us into an un-resourceful state.

‘Must I do this now?’

‘How can I ever get this done?’

‘Why must it be so difficult?’

‘What if I screw up?’ What if it does not work out?’

Hence it is very important that HOW we choose to focus?

(I facilitate Thought Leaders, Change Makers; Professionals & Business Owners translate NLP concepts into actions to achieve and elicit personal excellence. I conduct NLP Lifestyle Coaching Certification programs for individuals, corporate and celebrity clients. In the next article, you will learn to direct how we focus. And after that you will come to know in subsequent articles, how you can utilize concepts of NLP+ in all walks of your life to replicate the success blueprint of a winner mindset to win through life.  So, stay tuned every Monday & Saturday and fasten your seat belt to ‘Enhance Your Lifestyle With NLP+’)

My #1 Amazon Best Selling book ‘Awaken The Incredible Within – Incredible Is The New Giant’ is available at Amazon in English at  http://bit.ly/Awaken-The-Incredible-Within

Mr. Shantanu Das Sharma, Creator of the concept NLP Lifestyle Coaching with NLP+, Founder of Neuromind Leadership Academy is an Amazon #1 Best Selling Author, NLP Lifestyle Master Trainer & Coach, Clean Language Facilitator & Strategic Interventionist.  

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