Enhance your Lifestyle with NLP+ © Series: Part 31

By: Shantanu Das Sharma, Sr. Associate Editor, ICN Group

Quick recap of what we have covered in Part 30

THE TRANSFORMATION OF MEANING

The Rainbow in Every Dark Cloud

Oprah Winfrey – from Street Urchin to Talk show Host Extraordinaire

Andrew Luster – from Cosmetics Heir to Rapist-on-the-run

Terry Fox’s Marathon of Hope

From Superman to Paraplegic…and now an Inspiration to all

Donald Trump Triumphed Over Business Tragedies that Caused Others Commit Suicide

Business Icon Lee Iacocca’s Success Began with Getting Fired!

Reframing: The Art of Changing Meaning

So, how we represent (frame) our experiences determines how we respond and the outcomes we achieve. Therefore we must learn to constantly frame experiences ways that empower us, and empower the people around us. When you change the way you represent (frame) something, you totally change the meaning and the emotions associated with that experience. As a result, you change the decisions you make and the actions you take. You must learn how to create resourceful meanings out of every experience. Successful leaders and entrepreneurs do this to empower themselves and others to reach their goals. The process of turning a negative experience into a positive one is called reframing. There are two ways you can do this, Content Reframing and Context Reframing.

Content Reframing…

Content reframing is the process of changing a negative experience into a positive one by changing the meaning of the experience. Remember, every event has multiple meanings. The meaning we choose to focus on is what becomes real for us. The best way to do a content reframe is to ask the question, ‘What else can this mean?’ ‘How can this benefit or empower me instead of depressing me?’ For example, if the recession hit when you were about to start your business, you could content reframe it by saying, ‘Good! This means that business costs, like rental and salaries, will be lower and allow us to break even faster’. Or you could say, ‘Good! This means prospective clients will be more open to listening to suppliers who offer better value for money.’ There are multiple reasons why starting a business in a recession will be a positive experience! What if someone told you, ‘My son does not stop talking’ You could reframe this negative comment by saying ‘Good. That means he must be full of ideas’. Or ‘This means he must be very intelligent.’ If the person you love leaves you for someone else, reframe the loss by saying, ‘Good. This means that I can find someone who truly loves me’ or ‘This means I can find someone who is more caring, beautiful and loyal.’

Context Reframing…

Another way to reframe an experience is to do a context reframe. A context reframe is the process of changing a negative experience into a positive one by changing the context from which it is perceived. Have you ever had a negative experience only to look back at it five years later and say, ‘That was a blessing in disguise?’ In a different context (i.e. the future), the meaning of that experience changed from bad to good. In doing a context reframe, you must ask the question, ‘In a different time or place, how would the meaning be beneficial?’ You see, everything that seems bad now, when put into a different time or place, could appear beneficial.

Going back to the first example of starting a business in a recession, you could use a context reframe by saying, ‘When the economy picks up, the company will be positioned to do very well as it has been tested and strengthened by the recession’. You could do a context reframe on the boy who talks all the time by saying, ‘When he grows up, he will make a good public speaker’ (context of time). Or you could also say, ‘The fact that he talks all the time will certainly earn him a place on the school debating team’ (context of place). Are you getting the hang of it? Now, imagine that you, or someone you know, are experiencing the following scenarios. How would you reframe each negative experience to empower that person or yourself? Take some time and think of as many ways as you can to reframe each experience. Grab your pen and do this now.

Reframe the following experiences

1 I come from a poor family

Reframe:

2 I have lost Rs.500,000 in a bad business decision

Reframe:

3 I got the worst cohort of students

Reframe:

4 I do not have much education

Reframe:

5 The person I love has left me

Reframe:

6 I was (recently) retrenched after 20 years in the company

Reframe:

7 The local market for my products is getting unprofitable

Reframe:

8 I find this new subject very confusing

Reframe:

9 My boss keeps reprimanding me

Reframe:

10 After the pay cut, some staff decided to leave

Reframe:

Have you done the exercise? Great. Let’s look at some possible ways you could have used reframing.

Reframe Your Life Experiences

I want you to begin to think and reflect on some of the ‘worst ‘experiences of your life and start to reframe each of these events. Are you ready? In the space below, write down the 10 ‘worst’ experiences in your life and use either a Content or a Context reframe.

Past Experience Reframed Experience

1

2

3

How I Used Reframing to Turn Problems into Opportunities

Some people misunderstand, thinking that reframing is a way of making excuses for yourself or denying that you have a problem. Like anything else, reframing is a skill that can be useful or limiting. I choose to use reframing not to deny a problem. I use it to constantly put myself and others into a resourceful state of possibility so we will keep taking action until it leads to great results!

Let me share with you how I have used this tool to empower myself in business and to turn problems into opportunities. When I first started my training sessions, I had to spend about Rs.30,000 in advertisements in order to attract 100 people to attend my preview talks. Of the 100+ who came, about 10 would sign up. That meant that my direct acquisition cost per customer was Rs.3,000 (i.e. Rs.30,000÷10). When the recession got worse, only about 3 people on average signed up. That meant that my acquisition cost rose to Rs.10,000 (i.e. Rs.30,000÷3). Instead of blaming the recession, I reframed the experience by saying to my staff, ‘Good. This means that we can begin to explore alternative marketing strategies to increase sales’. So we began following up on those who did not sign up. We made telephone calls, something we had not done before.

The results were amazing, of the 97 people who did not sign up at the preview, we found that at least 10 more would sign up when we followed up with a phone call. When the economy picked up, we found ourselves getting back to 25 people signing up after the preview, plus another 10 more signing up through follow-ups, bringing our total sign-ups to 35! We would never have increased our sign-up figures so dramatically if we were not forced to explore the power of follow-up marketing because of the recession.

Reframing Other People’s Experiences…a Truly Powerful Tool

The ability to reframe the experiences of others is one of the most powerful tools of influence I have come across. Remember, at any point of time different people have different representations of the events that are happening around them. This is why different people respond in different ways and go on to make very different decisions. Some people may reject your ideas while some others may accept them. Some of your staff may get motivated by the recession while others may feel demoralized. Wouldn’t it be powerful if you could alter the representations of the people around you? You will then be able to align everybody’s frame of mind to yours! Powerful communicators know how to reframe any experience into any meaning which they want to communicate.

The leader is always the one who sets the frame and defines the meaning for others to follow. Exceptional politicians, CEOs, brilliant salespeople and inspiring educators use this technique unconsciously every day in order to shift people into different frames of mind. I have used reframing extensively in dealing with numerous business and sales situations, especially when I encounter resistance or rejections.

Reframing in Sales and Business

As someone who started training & coaching businesses and giving NLP training & coaching at 51, you can bet that one of the biggest challenges I faced was being so new and while so late to commence a new career. People keep asking me how I overcame that limitation. My answer is that I constantly reframed my old age and turned it into an advantage!

Example: when clients had to choose between myself as a newbie in NLP Training and the usual experienced ones with over 12 years as NLP trainer, I would secure the deal by telling them that because of my format of delivery on one to one basis with weekly sessions it is most convenient to absorb the learning in fastest time to absorb the learning and applying them in comparison to training engagements for 6-9 days with 9 am to 5 p.m time without gaps and just become a nerdy with knowledge. And that in my sessions they may choose to be self-paced depending on self interest and convenience and they can never ever miss any sessions as it is timed individually. And that the personal adjustments and breakthroughs are done on one to one basis for each and every participant who joins the NLP+ Lifestyle Training sessions and results are awesome everytime.

How did I persuade these clients that I could train and coach with personal care who were busy professionals? How did I convince them that a trainer with no previous or corporate experience could motivate and train mature individuals to increase their productivity? Again, what set me apart was that I was a master reframer. I kept reframing my old age until I had an unbeatable advantage. I told them that because I was so matured, and I have much to draw from my own career and international experiences with great trainers and super achievers in several countries to become successful. I said that because I had vast actual corporate experience, that I would deliver ‘out of the box’ ideas that they had never used before.

The other major challenge I faced in my businesses initially was that I was constantly up against biggies in training business pitching for new accounts. My competitors were much more established and had many times more staff than I had. Yet, despite this, I (and my equally youthful team), managed to beat them and secured some of the biggest contracts. How? Again, I reframed the fact that my company was small and less established into a powerful advantage. I said that by going with a smaller company, they will be much more valued as a client. Their Rs.10 Lac budget would be nothing for a multinational agency or company. But to us, they will be our biggest and most valued customer. We will give them top priority and service.

(I facilitate Thought Leaders, Change Makers; Professionals & Business Owners translate NLP concepts into actions to achieve and elicit personal excellence. I conduct NLP Lifestyle Coaching Certification programs for individuals, corporate and celebrity clients. In the next article, you will learn about Reframing: To Motivate Employees. And after that you will come to know in subsequent articles, how you can utilize concepts of NLP+ in all walks of your life to replicate the success blueprint of a winner mindset to win through life.  So, stay tuned every Monday & Saturday and fasten your seat belt to ‘Enhance Your Lifestyle With NLP+’)

Shantanu Das Sharma, Creator of the concept NLP Lifestyle Coaching with NLP+, Certified Social Panorama Consultant, and Founder of Neuromind Leadership Academy is an Amazon #1 Best Selling Author, NLP+ Lifestyle Master Trainer & Coach, Clean Language Facilitator & Strategic Interventionist.